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| My Grandmother & I at my Aunt Joy's funeral (Jan. 9, 2013) |
Today (July 31, 2014), I had the honor of representing my family and standing in for my father at my Grandmother Mullins' funeral.
I shared this eulogy to remember her life and carry forward her legacy.
My name is Monica Mullins and, if you can’t tell by simply looking at me, I am Velma Mullins’ granddaughter. It is my privilege to pay tribute to her on behalf of our family. Today we honor a woman who was defined by love, laughter, her kitchen table, a porch swing, and good conversation.
My Grandmother, Velma Mullins, was a strikingly beautiful woman, elegant, tall, and quick to laugh. The eldest of Homer and Ruby Stewart’s five children, Velma Louise Stewart was born in Dustin, Oklahoma on November 16, 1924. The same year that her youngest sister, Joy Nell, was born, Velma met a handsome young man named Jasper Bethel Mullins. Velma and J.B. dated the remainder of the year until he enlisted in the army and eventually entered World War II. Velma graduated high school and, along with seven of her classmates, attempted to get on with Macdonald Douglas to work on airplanes in Tulsa. When the girls were unsuccessful, most expressed a desire to return home. However, Velma said, “If we return home, we’ll never go anywhere.” Thus she and her friend, Lucille, went to Oklahoma City and were hired by the US Department of Defense! They trained in New Orleans and Velma found herself living and working in Washington, D.C. When J.B. returned home following the War in October 1945, Velma was enjoying her new life in D.C. and was actually seeing another young man. J.B. arrived back in Oklahoma and immediately traveled to Washington to retrieve Velma. They were married on November 6th of that same year (what must have been less than a month following his return home).
They quickly began their family with their son (my father), Larry, being born 68 years ago today. Velma and J.B. lived in Henryetta, Ponca City, and Nowata during the early years of their marriage. Their second son, Kirby, was born in Nowata and the family shortly thereafter moved to Chouteau and purchased the home in which they would build and nurture their family for three generations.
And, it is in that home, 415 Howey, that so many fond memories flood our hearts and minds. Velma was the consummate housewife and the queen of her beautiful castle. It was her domain and the home overflowed with conversation and laughter. Her laughter (and as a result the laughter of both of her sons) was distinctive and contagious. Her home was lovely; the family’s schedule precise; the atmosphere welcoming; and, the food plentiful.
She raised two boys in that home and, while barely 41 years of age, she welcomed her first grandchild. Velma hosted family gatherings that included not only her children but also both she and J.B.’s siblings and their families. And…the place to be between meals around the packed dining table was her kitchen table over a cup of coffee. I, along with my brother, cousins and her nieces and nephew, wanted so badly to drink coffee and sit at that table! And, even as she aged and her health declined, her table was still the place to be in the house.
First Baptist Church was a place of devotion and service in her life. She taught Sunday School and GAs. She chaperoned children on trips and to camp. I was so proud to accompany her and the children of this church to camp, to the movies, and to the Passion Play in Eureka Springs.
My recollection of my childhood visits here look much like the advertisements on the pages of Life Magazine. My grandmother, the quintessential 1950s domestic goddess! I actually picture her in heels, with her makeup perfect, her hair stylish, her clothing beautifully coordinated as she effortlessly whips up dinner and vacuums the house. I’m not sure that’s exactly how it was, but is the image I fondly recall.
And, along with that image, is the smell of Pepsi fizzing in a thermal cup; freshly made peanut butter cookies coming from the oven; and chicken and dumplings cooking on the stove. Such are the smells that bring her kitchen to life in my mind. And…of course…that ever brewing pot of coffee.
In the end, we all knew a slightly different version of Velma Mullins. Oh, she was true to herself and consistent…we see that in so many of our shared memories. But, we also were able to know the unique version of her that connected specifically in love to each of our individual hearts and lives. To Homer and Ruby, she was their first born daughter. To Betty, Francis, Joy, and Jeryl, she was always their oldest sister and the glue that held the family together both to face difficulty as well as to celebrate throughout the years. To her sons she was a rock, a constant, and source of great love and laughter. To me and my brother…she was the one we could count on to spoil us, cheer us, and see only our best. And, most importantly, when she lost her first born son, she was my deepest connection to him. To Becky and Brandy, she was not only a grandmother but also a mother, a guiding force, and a disciplinarian! To her nieces and nephew, Angie, Cheryl, Bruce, Susan, and Carrie Beth…she was THE COOL AUNT. And…while she played different roles in each of our lives…all of our memories are filled with love, conversation, and laughter. Such is what defined her and is the powerful legacy she passed on to each of us. May our kitchen tables always echo with her presence.
My name is Monica Mullins and, if you can’t tell by simply looking at me, I am Velma Mullins’ granddaughter. It is my privilege to pay tribute to her on behalf of our family. Today we honor a woman who was defined by love, laughter, her kitchen table, a porch swing, and good conversation.
My Grandmother, Velma Mullins, was a strikingly beautiful woman, elegant, tall, and quick to laugh. The eldest of Homer and Ruby Stewart’s five children, Velma Louise Stewart was born in Dustin, Oklahoma on November 16, 1924. The same year that her youngest sister, Joy Nell, was born, Velma met a handsome young man named Jasper Bethel Mullins. Velma and J.B. dated the remainder of the year until he enlisted in the army and eventually entered World War II. Velma graduated high school and, along with seven of her classmates, attempted to get on with Macdonald Douglas to work on airplanes in Tulsa. When the girls were unsuccessful, most expressed a desire to return home. However, Velma said, “If we return home, we’ll never go anywhere.” Thus she and her friend, Lucille, went to Oklahoma City and were hired by the US Department of Defense! They trained in New Orleans and Velma found herself living and working in Washington, D.C. When J.B. returned home following the War in October 1945, Velma was enjoying her new life in D.C. and was actually seeing another young man. J.B. arrived back in Oklahoma and immediately traveled to Washington to retrieve Velma. They were married on November 6th of that same year (what must have been less than a month following his return home).
They quickly began their family with their son (my father), Larry, being born 68 years ago today. Velma and J.B. lived in Henryetta, Ponca City, and Nowata during the early years of their marriage. Their second son, Kirby, was born in Nowata and the family shortly thereafter moved to Chouteau and purchased the home in which they would build and nurture their family for three generations.
And, it is in that home, 415 Howey, that so many fond memories flood our hearts and minds. Velma was the consummate housewife and the queen of her beautiful castle. It was her domain and the home overflowed with conversation and laughter. Her laughter (and as a result the laughter of both of her sons) was distinctive and contagious. Her home was lovely; the family’s schedule precise; the atmosphere welcoming; and, the food plentiful.
She raised two boys in that home and, while barely 41 years of age, she welcomed her first grandchild. Velma hosted family gatherings that included not only her children but also both she and J.B.’s siblings and their families. And…the place to be between meals around the packed dining table was her kitchen table over a cup of coffee. I, along with my brother, cousins and her nieces and nephew, wanted so badly to drink coffee and sit at that table! And, even as she aged and her health declined, her table was still the place to be in the house.
First Baptist Church was a place of devotion and service in her life. She taught Sunday School and GAs. She chaperoned children on trips and to camp. I was so proud to accompany her and the children of this church to camp, to the movies, and to the Passion Play in Eureka Springs.
My recollection of my childhood visits here look much like the advertisements on the pages of Life Magazine. My grandmother, the quintessential 1950s domestic goddess! I actually picture her in heels, with her makeup perfect, her hair stylish, her clothing beautifully coordinated as she effortlessly whips up dinner and vacuums the house. I’m not sure that’s exactly how it was, but is the image I fondly recall.
And, along with that image, is the smell of Pepsi fizzing in a thermal cup; freshly made peanut butter cookies coming from the oven; and chicken and dumplings cooking on the stove. Such are the smells that bring her kitchen to life in my mind. And…of course…that ever brewing pot of coffee.
In the end, we all knew a slightly different version of Velma Mullins. Oh, she was true to herself and consistent…we see that in so many of our shared memories. But, we also were able to know the unique version of her that connected specifically in love to each of our individual hearts and lives. To Homer and Ruby, she was their first born daughter. To Betty, Francis, Joy, and Jeryl, she was always their oldest sister and the glue that held the family together both to face difficulty as well as to celebrate throughout the years. To her sons she was a rock, a constant, and source of great love and laughter. To me and my brother…she was the one we could count on to spoil us, cheer us, and see only our best. And, most importantly, when she lost her first born son, she was my deepest connection to him. To Becky and Brandy, she was not only a grandmother but also a mother, a guiding force, and a disciplinarian! To her nieces and nephew, Angie, Cheryl, Bruce, Susan, and Carrie Beth…she was THE COOL AUNT. And…while she played different roles in each of our lives…all of our memories are filled with love, conversation, and laughter. Such is what defined her and is the powerful legacy she passed on to each of us. May our kitchen tables always echo with her presence.
